Scream Bloody Entertainment

Fear... Paranoia... Suspicion... Desperation

A group of strangers awaken inside a maze composed of cubes containing deadly traps and then must work together in order to find the exit.

- original and unique
- impressive acting
- minimal filming locations but used effectively
- the incredibly complex plot is explained brilliantly, keeping you entertaining instead of frustrated
- uses tension and claustrophobia to keep the viewer on the edge
- surprisingly entertaining
- the (better) alternative to Saw

- one annoying and stereotypical character
- ending is somewhat weak
- some scenes regarding math are flawed

- random dude gets cut into cubes
- sprayed acid makeover
- one fall into the endless abyss
- a couple of stabs with a door handle
- one well-deserved death by crushing between two walls

- some random girl who's still in school may probe to be a genius at math
- also, some genius at math may still need to consider if a number ending with 2 or 5 is prime
- the awesome and experienced veteran always dies first
- cops...

Cube has got to be the coolest and most original indie movie ever made. It is indeed fascinating how someone can make a film this awesome with such a small budget. Not only is Cube entertaining, but it's also got brains. The puzzles are intriguing and the setting couldn't have worked better. Not to be missed by anyone, I say.

horror meter: 4 prime stars (out of 5)

Yeah, I kinda had a pretty sweet summary for this week, but I ctrl+clicked one of my bookmarks (which should normally open that website in a new freakin' tab) and it all went down in flames with big explosions in the background. What an awesome way to screw up twenty minutes of your life, don't you agree? In other news... I'm still working on my best-horror-films-of-09 list. Actually it's more of a stalled project right now since I'm focusing on other tasks. Bah, who am I kidding! I'm obviously one lazy prick, but one day I will rise up and get to work. And with some luck I might even finish it as well! Enough about that, though - let's take a look at what I watched last week!

Monday (19.04.2010)

Lake Mungo (2009) - 5/10
I really thought Lake Mungo was going to be an interesting horror movie and I was ready for a few scares here and there, but the film took a totally different direction. I’m not sure what to make of it, I mean some parts were definitely interesting and felt fresh (like I haven’t seen them before), but it just wasn’t worth it. The whole thing plays out like a documentary, which sort of takes the scare factor out of it. It felt much more realistic, sure, but it just felt like it was dragging at times and I kind of lost the mood a couple of times. It’s not exactly a bad movie, but it’s not something you’ll remember or look back on for too long. Lake Mungo is the innocent cousin of Paranormal Activity, and it just doesn’t have enough moments to justify its length. Would’ve worked better as a short film, if you ask me.

Tuesday (20.04.2010)

Sauna (2008) - 7/10
Now this was one heck of a horror movie. It felt incredibly new and it had some ideas to it that I didn’t really witness before. Sauna is certainly a film of note, and not just for fans of horror flicks. The best thing about this movie is that it’s got this dark and raw atmosphere to it and plays out in an unconventional manner. There tons of scenes which will keep you on the edge and simply amazed at how new this all is, because it’s definitely one of those films that you haven’t seen before. Goodbye clichés, hello creativity. Take a look.



Wednesday (21.04.2010)

Tropic Thunder (2008) - 7/10
I’ve been meaning to watch this one for quite some time now, but I just never got to it. I originally intended to watch it with a couple of friends, but it seemed as though everyone had already seen it. I finally got sick of waiting and decided to watch it by myself and I have to say that I felt as if it’s much more effective if you watch it with other people. The laughs are much bigger and more satisfying if you’ve got someone to laugh with, but Tropic Thunder is nevertheless a great movie. It’s one hell of a fun movie and you’ve got quotes and memorable moments all over the place. Robert Downey Jr. plays his role with maximum efficiency and skill and it was simply a delight to see him have his way with his character. Tropic Thunder is definitely Ben Stiller’s crowning achievement.

Hellraiser (1987) - 8/10
I obviously had high expectations for Hellraiser, but this one simply blew me away. It was much better than I had ever imagined it to be, and even though it went into a whole other direction than I had expected, I still enjoyed every second of it. At first I thought this was going to be some brainless flick with mass gore, but I was totally wrong. The story is surprisingly good and the whole plot works well. Sure, there was plenty of gore to go around, but it was skillfully used and effectively introduced in parts where it just seemed perfect. The acting was freakin’ great, something which I most definitely did not expect. I think Hellraiser works so well because of the lead actress, who was likeable, sympathetic and charming and she definitely had the looks for the “damsel in distress.” That being said, I recommend this flick to everyone who’s in the mood for something fun, thrilling and suspenseful. And of course: a must-see for fans of the horror genre.

Friday (23.04.2010)

The Godfather Part III (1990) - 7/10
I was kind of uncertain as to whether I should watch The Godfather Part III or not. What I knew for sure was that I definitely wasn’t in the mood for disappointment and didn’t want to see such a legendary series of films get screwed up at the finish. When I finally overcame that and decided to watch it no matter what the result may be I was incredibly surprised to see how well this film actually played out. It was definitely not as good as the first two films in the series, but it wasn’t a disappointment, that’s for sure. It’s really hard to keep the viewer entertained for almost three hours, but this movie did that without any difficulty. It just flowed so easily and nicely that I barely noticed how time was flying. Andy Garcia was awesome and he certainly didn’t let me down as the newcomer – quite the contrary, he was one of the best parts in the film. His gradually increasing connection with Michael Corleone and the bond they shared was quite unique. Al Pacino was amazing, obviously. The ending was very satisfying and I think it fit well in the big picture. This is a must for everyone who has seen the first two parts and wants more. Don’t be fooled by the negative feedback – watch it and see for yourself!

Saturday (24.04.2010)

The Final Destination (2009) - 3/10
Yeah… for some reason I kind of hoped that I would get something from watching this, but I only ended up frustrated and bored. The script was freakin’ horrible, I have no idea how the heck they even went through with it. The acting was obviously subpar and even the kills felt dull and uninteresting. It’s actually really sad to see where modern cinema has come to and how audiences fall for each of these cheap tricks which are only there to milk some money. This movie should have been a direct-to-video; I just can’t believe how much money it made at the box office. I’m not gonna go all negative nancy on this sad flick, so I’m just gonna go ahead and say that it did have some pleasant moments. You should still skip it, of course.

The Uninvited (2009) - 7/10
I know the majority of people consider this movie to be a mostly average horror flick, but I see more to it. There’s been a huge increase in scepticism for American horror remakes in the past couple of years, and I can understand that, but some may miss out on a few potentially good films with that attitude. I, for one, freakin’ loved every moment of The Uninvited. It sure has its flaws, but there’s just something about it that made me enjoy the hell out of it. Maybe it’s the distressing atmosphere of that setting or the well-done scares; whatever it was, I had a lot of fun with it. The twist worked out quite well, even though I have seen some space for improvement. It’s nonetheless a fine horror flick and I say you give it a chance – maybe you’ll like it!

The Usual Suspects (1995) - 9/10
Talk about smart movies… this film is the devil of thrillers (if you know what I mean). The Usual Suspects is, more or less, flawless. The story is one of the most intriguing ones I’ve seen, the acting is downright awesome and the thrills are all there. Oh and let’s not forget the mind-blowing twist, which was… well… mind-blowing! I really didn’t see that one coming, and even though I realized how easily I was fooled and how obvious it all was, I still had total respect for what they did there. Strangely, this flick reminds me a lot of Memento. They’re not exactly similar (although they do share some resemblance) movies, but for some reason this film made me think about Memento. Both flicks are awesome, so you should check this one out as soon as possible!

Sunday (25.04.2010)

Suspiria (1977) - 8/10
Suspiria is very much a horror film locked in its own world. There are few similarities to any other horror flick and this movie is incredibly unique and beautiful. Not many have achieved what Dario Argento did in Suspiria – he created pure art in the form of horror. Every little bit of this movie is fantastic and strangely glamorous. The story isn’t exactly as good as it could have been, but I’m glad Argento set his priorities to other things. I seriously think that everyone should get to see this film at least once in his/her lifetime, because it would be a real shame to miss something as wonderful as this.

Once You've Seen It, You Will Never Again Feel Safe In The Dark

A young aspiring ballet dancer travels to Germany to attend to a prestigious dance academy, but little does she know that inside the walls of the school lies a coven of witches.

- top-notch cinematography
- striking visuals
- relentless gore
- surprisingly creepy score
- balanced pacing
- keeps the viewer entertained and on the edge
- powerful climax

- the script is a mix between flawed storytelling and various memorable moments
- takes its time to build up the plot
- some things simply don't make sense

- several knife stabs
- one awesome hanging
- glass and sharp wood piercing a body
- barbed wire
- one unexpected dog kill
- the living dead

- sometimes you get hundred-year-old evil witches sleeping and snoring next to you
- not every dog is man's best friend
- if you want to find out where people are going at night, don't follow them around... just count their footsteps!

Suspiria may not have the most coherent storyline that one could wish for, but it is a timeless glory of gore, glamour and suspense. Dario Argento has created a masterpiece filled with memorable images and haunting visuals, and featuring a simple score that is more effective than one may expect. This is one of those horror films that even the ones not as curious of the genre need to see.

horror meter: 5 witching stars (out of 5)

Fear moves in

Anna returns home after being released from a psychiatric institution, but her homecoming faces menace as she must deal with her soon-to-be stepmother and a ghostlike presence that keeps haunting her.

- it has a certain distressing atmosphere to it
- well acted
- excellent scares throughout
- successfully adapted screenplay
- exceptional score, fitting and unsettling
- the twist works well
- beautiful setting

- pales in comparison to the original
- a couple of the scares come off as cheap
- could have ended on a better note

- brutally murdered corpse of a child
- ghost of the ill looking mother
- a dead guy with serious back problems
- one set of creepy children

- your father will never believe you if you tell him that the bitch is
- if you're shy and distant, your sister will always be the slutty and outgoing counterpart
- all stepmothers are murderous and nuts

It may not rise to the level of the original Korean movie A Tale of Two Sisters, but The Uninvited is nevertheless a solid movie that can hold its own ground. Unlike many American remakes, this one is notably different and takes somewhat of a different path compared to the original. Some may not appreciate it due to the "American remake" stereotype that has blinded some of the viewers, but hopefully others will manage to see its true form and take it for what it is: a fun and above average horror flick.

horror meter: 4 sisterly stars (out of 5)

Rest in Pieces

A group of teenagers and a couple of expandable people avoid certain death after one of them has a premonition of the disastrous event. Soon enough they find themselves getting killed off one by one...

- a few of the kills are (somewhat) creative
- quite entertaining
- I didn't pay to see it in theaters (more so in 3D)

- horrendous acting
- tasteless script
- shallow characters
- more dull than thrilling
- lacks new ideas

- decapitation by car wheel (twice)
- collapsing stadium roof squashes humans
- several deaths by impalement
- one redneck burned alive
- fatal headshot with a tiny rock
- some dude actually gets killed by a bathtub
- one well-deserved death by swimming pool suction

- women + cars + malfunctioning sunroofs + car washes = bound to fail
- homeless people don't appreciate a penny
- yeah... lucky coins...

It's pretty obvious that The Final Destination was made only to milk some more money of the average moviegoers. The script looks like it was written in two days, the actors seem to have taken on the wrong profession and the kills are far less exciting than they used to be. Let's just hope this is the final instalment of the series... although I kinda doubt that.

horror meter: 2 money-milking stars (out of 5)

He'll tear your soul apart.

After moving into a new house with her husband, an unfaithful wife encounters the zombie-like body of her late lover and agrees to help him regain his former physical form.

- very entertaining and suspenseful
- original and unique
- intriguing plot
- interesting and well-written characters
- great mix of gore and violence, which is over-the-top yet never seems too excessive
- takes torture to a whole new level
- the Cenobites look awesome
- for once, the protagonist is actually likable and not entirely stupid

- Pinhead doesn't get enough screen time
- no gratuitous nudity

- hook torture
- maggots and cockroaches
- dude with no skin
- the incredibly explicit look of the Cenobites
- various hammer kills

- even the most powerful demons sent directly from Hell need the help of the young clueless protagonist
- never buy puzzle boxes from old Asian people
- the best way to seduce a woman is by showing her your knife

Hellraiser is a definite classic of the horror genre. There's enough gore to please everyone, the lead girl looks good and acts well and the movie itself is highly entertaining. It may seem a little outdated these days, but it remains an incredibly effective and thrilling horror film. You're not a true horror fan until you've seen this one. Also, Pinhead is a badass.

horror meter: 5 soul-tearing stars (out of 5)

So I didn't get to watch too many movies this time around... I'm quite busy these days. I didn't even get to finish my top-horror-movies-of-09 list yet (shame on me!) and I have no freakin' idea when I'll get around to post it (shame on me again!). Been listening to a lot of podcasts on my iPhone lately, especially the ones about movies and stuff, so I'm starting to gather up quite a big list of movies I'm looking forward to watch. Hope I'll get to see most of them during the summer... anyways, here's what I watched last week:

Thursday (15.04.2010)

Clash of the Titans (1981) - 7/10
I remember seeing this movie when I was a kid and it left me with a good amount of memorable scenes, ranging from the inspiring scene when Perseus arrives at the city of Joppa to the scary one when he fights Medusa and the final epic battle against the Kraken. Those were indeed good childhood memories and I was glad to finally see Clash of the Titans again, because I was quite curious as to how I will view this movie at my present age. I’m happy to say that the magic of the film is still there and I honestly didn’t mind the cheap special effects at all. I wish they made movies like this again.



Friday (16.04.2010)

Clash of the Titans (2010) - 6/10
I heard a fair share of negative things about the remake, but I honestly couldn’t wait to see it. I didn’t care much if they didn’t focus on story or characters, I just wanted some good action and a couple of hours of entertainment, and that’s exactly what I got. People tend to dislike this movie because they take it too seriously even when the film doesn’t take itself seriously. I think it’s pretty much settled that if you intend on enjoying this flick, you will, and if you intend not to, then you most probably won’t. It’s good stuff, either way, and some of the action scenes were quite awesome. I guess it varies from person to person, and I’m one of those who actually enjoyed it. For what it’s worth, Sam Worthington’s performance wasn’t much worse than Harry Hamlin’s in the original one.

Alice in Wonderland (2010) - 5/10
I recently grew to love Tim Burton’s work and thus was really looking forward to seeing Alice in Wonderland. I didn’t expect much from the movie and the only reason I went to see it was because of the visuals, which were really impressive even in the trailer. Now that I’ve finally seen the movie, I can safely say that it’s worth a watch. It’s one of those films that are pretty bad overall, but which I would take any day over another average movie. The story was pretty weak, but the visuals made up more than enough for it. I really don’t have anything to complain about this one… the story did suck, the ending was rather terrible but I enjoyed the visuals so much that I just can’t bring myself to hate this movie. I say watch it and see for yourself.

Sunday (18.04.2010)

Predator (1987) - 7/10
What’s more awesome than spending time with your mates, drinking beer and watching Arnold Schwarzenegger kick ass? You might as well throw in some badass creature from outer space and you’ve got more fun than you can handle. I obviously didn’t expect much from this film except for a couple of laughs and some cheesy lines, but I was quite surprised to see how well this movie was made. The pacing was excellent and the balance between action and the scenes in-between worked much better than expected. Arnie did quite well, but there were a couple of moments where his acting bugged me. His badass look totally made up for it, though. This is a must-see for every fan of action movies out there. Simply awesome!

Wash your sins.

Two brothers who are assigned with the outline of a new border between Russia and Sweden are haunted by feelings of guilt after leaving a young girl locked in a basement.

- Ville Virtanen is one heck of an actor
- well-paced
- extremely creepy and eerie
- thought-provoking
- features excellent cinematography and stunning visuals
- satisfying climax
- sets up a dark, grim mood

- doesn't make much sense at first
- some random things here and there that just don't fit
- some dialogue seemed weak

- knife stabbing sounds
- various disturbing appearances of dead characters
- a good deal of blood (and some black blood as well)
- one eerie looking figure

- glasses can sometimes ruin the atmosphere
- not all saunas give out a radiant glow
- some Russian soldiers really were gay during the 16th century

There are few movies as intriguing and eerie as Sauna. It's obvious that a lot of effort was put in making this movie and one can easily appreciate the beauty of such a film. Sauna is indeed a grim and surprisingly dark tale and it keeps its audience guessing until the very end. There are a lot of interpretations about the ending of the film, which is yet another example that this movie runs deeper than you may think.

horror meter: 4 half-blind stars (out of 5)

If you've never seen a ghost... Look closer.

Lake Mungo documents a grieving family as they deal with the death of Alice Palmer, a sixteen-year-old daughter and sister who drowns in the local dam.

- very creepy throughout most of the movie
- some surprisingly scary and somewhat disturbing scenes
- feels incredibly real
- top-notch acting all around
- successfully tackles themes such as grief, secrets and paranormal events
- sinister atmosphere

- rather slow-paced
- takes too much time to get into the action
- not enough interesting parts to make up for its length
- photo zooming gets tiring after some time
- documentary style doesn't fit too well with the plot

- disturbing image of a drowned corpse
- creepy stills of ghosts in several pictures and video shots
- one stupefyingly scary scene

- babysitter porn is real!
- sometimes the cute innocent daughter isn't as innocent as she seems
- if you see your future self trying to assault you, randomly bury your phone, your bracelet and other valuable things somewhere in the desert

Lake Mungo isn't as effective as you would expect from a movie dealing with paranormal events and ghostly appearances. Sure, it has its good parts, but it ultimately fails to deliver a worthwhile movie due to the inappropriate documentary style and the lack of thrills. It is still interesting to witness the struggle of a grieving family as realistic as it is portrayed in this film.

horror meter: 3 grieving stars (out of 5)

If it bleeds, we can kill it...

A team of commandos go on a rescue mission in the jungle only to find themselves hunted by a mysterious extra-terrestrial creature.

- highly entertaining
- more badass than Chuck Norris in his prime
- memorable quotes are spat out every few minutes
- one awesome arm wrestling scene
- Arnold Schwarzenegger kicking ass and taking names!
- the Predator looks great
- unintentionally funny

- unintentionally funny
- the acting could be better
- some dumb scenes
- all the actors look like they were hired from some random gym

- several skinned bodies hanged from trees
- the Predator likes to carry skulls around
- green blood
- Arnold Schwarzenegger gets injured

- chewing tobacco turns you into a sexual tyrannosaurus... like that guy
- if you see one of your teammates randomly shooting his minigun towards an empty space in the jungle, join him!
- if Arnold is hit, GET TO DA CHOPPA!!!

Predator is definitely a classic action flick and the combination with some slasher elements works really well. The Predator still looks awesome to this very day and Arnold Schwarzenegger kicks enough ass to satisfy your most hardcore needs. Not only is this film entertaining, but it's also very suspenseful and it features an extremely balanced pacing. This is the kind of movie you watch together with your friends over a few cans of beer and an appetite for destruction!

horror meter: 4 badass stars (out of 5)

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

Tim Burton has taken us along through various adventures in his bizarre realms that share an original, yet eccentric theme. We have bared witness to unique creations and unruly characters, often portrayed in an unconventional manner and with a sheer brilliance for detail. Such is the distinguished style of Tim Burton, and we cannot help but be grateful that he has shared his universe with us. Burton’s ace lies indeed in the visuals, where he so gracefully crafts wonders and summons forth distinct creatures and peculiar characters. I imagine a Tim Burton movie in 3D to be the pinnacle of cinematic expressiveness, and I seemed as though I shall soon find out if that is correct as his newest film hits the theatres.

We all know how Tim Burton likes to take a children’s story and adapt it into his own creepy and highly stylized version of it. I’m okay with that, and I’m actually quite intrigued by the fact that we get to see these stories in a new and fascinating way. The famous world of Alice in Wonderland is Burton’s newest pick and we soon notice how his influence over the classic has changed it from simple to visually challenging. I can’t help but feel an immense sense of curiosity and interest whenever I take a look at one of the movie’s trailers, posters or whatever else promotional stuff that I happen to cross paths (or eyes) with.

  
Alice in Wonderland opens up with, well… Alice, a nineteen-year-old girl living in England during the Victorian era, who attends a garden party which soon reveals itself to be her own engagement party when a lord asks for her hand. Confused and distracted, she runs away to follow a strange-looking rabbit and soon enough falls down into a rabbit hole which turns out to be the entrance to another world. Newly arrived in Wonderland, Alice comes across various peculiar characters which seem have previously met her and she learns that it is her duty to slay the ferocious creature called Jabberwocky and put an end to the Red Queen’s tyrannical reign.

It is indeed fascinating to see how Tim Burton takes this innocent children’s story and turn it into something so big and powerful, but much is sacrificed in order to portray the captivating magic of that wondrous world. Most of the story is gone and the movie soon starts dwelling in complete randomness, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but one can’t help but wonder when the movie will stop experimenting and establish a coherent goal. An experiment is pretty much what this film is – Burton keeps adding flavour after flavour, which ultimately leads to something undefined and overworked. The world he creates is truly a marvel to look at, but after all is said and done you realize that you have been watching a gallery of pictures all along and even though each of them is worth one thousand words, the words remain unspoken and (mostly) neglected.


The most intriguing part of Alice in Wonderland is its characters, which are more or less the heart and soul of the film. It isn’t surprising that the Mad Hatter is featured as one of the movie’s highlight – Johnny Depp takes full advantage of this character’s lunacy and wit and really lets his exquisite acting chops loose. The end result is much what anyone familiar with Depp’s acting style would expect: he turns his character into a delight to watch on screen that leaves the audience with a grin on their face and awe in their eyes. Johnny Depp doesn’t completely steal the show, though, and Mia Wasikowska’s performance as Alice is more proficient than I could have ever expected from a newcomer.

The Cheshire Cat is an alluring part of the movie and its exaggerated smile is simply bewitching. The Red Queen (played by Helena Bonham Carter) is also quite an interesting character and together with Crispin Glover as the Knave of Hearts makes for an interesting set of antagonists. I didn’t care much for the White Queen and I wasn’t too impressed with Anne Hathaway’s performance either. I felt that the White Queen came of as a rather arrogant and pretentious character which didn’t fit too well with its role in the story. Tweedledee and Tweedledum seemed to be in the movie only for the sake of comical relief, but even there they didn’t seem too amusing.


The only positive aspect in Alice in Wonderland is the visual one. The cinematography is displayed in its finest form and the special effects are downright astonishing. Much of that typical Tim Burton feeling is present in the film, but it isn’t as effective as in his other movies. The script is mediocre, at most, and the story is pretty much trimmed down to a single monotone thread. The ending couldn’t have been more inappropriate and the way it transitions from one theme to the other feels rushed and uncomfortable. The way the movie ended played a big role in its inevitable failure and I may have reconsidered the film’s overall mark had it finished on a different note.

Looking back at it as a whole, Alice in Wonderland was, in one way or another, disappointing. That’s about the most appropriate term I can use to describe this film. I did like it, though, and I sure as hell didn’t leave the theatre angry or confused. The visuals were as good as they could have been and I did feel the Tim Burton magic throughout most of the film. It’s not exactly worth a watch if you want something concrete or a movie with a plot. This movie has no plot and whatever tiny bit that is left of it is completely overlooked. Alice in Wonderland is magical and a visual treat, but it still isn’t enough to make for a good movie. I’m not sure what to make of it, but I’m glad that at least I got to be part of another one of Tim Burton’s enchanting worlds.

“Every Sherlock Holmes story has at least one marvellous scene.” - Rex Stout

There’s a reason why we watch movies: we want to be entertained. It doesn’t matter if the movie has a deeper meaning or if it tackles certain problems, the essential thing we want out of movies is entertainment – a couple of hours of escape from the real world to somewhere magical, where everything is possible and imagination has no limits.

In Sherlock Holmes, Guy Ritchie brings us the most recent portrayal of the famous detective on screen. Starring Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes and Jude Law as his assistant Dr. John Watson, this movie is probably the most daring and unique out of all the films revolving around the London-based detective and his adventures.

The movie starts off with Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson following the tracks of the infamous murderer known as Lord Blackwood, who intends to sacrifice yet another poor soul in order to accomplish his dark plans. The duo manages to stop the ritual and apprehend Blackwood, who is later executed. The story doesn’t end here, though – soon Holmes and Watson discover that they are the only ones who can stop a global threat from emerging.



Robert Downey Jr. may have delivered the performance of a lifetime: his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes couldn’t be more polished and perfect - everything from his expressions to the way he speaks out certain words is just amazing. He really adds spice to his character and transforms the detective into the real genius that everyone expects to see. Jude Law is up there with him as well and had it not been for the duo’s unique chemistry and excellence of acting, the movie would have lost its flair.

It all may seem all little bit cheesy (which it is), but everything is there. From the clever humour to the action-packed scenes and the interesting riddles, Sherlock Holmes has got it all. There’s no better way to waste two hours than to watch Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson kicking butt and taking names!

What can I say? Easter holiday break is over and it's back to studying for me. No more free time and movies, but at least now I have some time to write a couple of reviews and finish up the list with my favourite horror movies of 2009. Last week was pretty great, though. I spent most of my time watching movies, tv shows and whatnot. I even got to travel to a nearby city and watch a couple of newly released films on the big screen (for those of you unaware, the city I live in has no cinema whatsoever... it's not small city, it's just so broken down and used up that it doesn't even have one freakin' cinema anymore - and you should see the roads!), which gave me the opportunity to get ahold of some 3D glasses and watch some awesome flicks! Let's check out what I checked out!

Tuesday (06.04.2010)

Alien (1979) - 9/10
What can I possibly say about Alien that hasn’t been said before? It’s both a horror and science-fiction classic, it’s scary, claustrophobic, dark and brilliant. This is one of those movies that need to be included in every serious moviegoer’s library – a masterpiece that must not be missed. I’m not sure why, but I haven’t given much attention to the Alien series until recently when I stumbled across the Alien Quadrology DVD in a shop somewhere around my city and decided to buy it. Little did I know that it would go on to become one of the best things I ever spent money on. Now I keep the DVDs safely inside the box, which sits safely inside another box… that’s how much I treasure it. So yeah… Alien is a must-see.

Wednesday (07.04.2010)

Heat (1995) - 6/10
If there’s one thing I learned from watching this movie, it’s that I despise Michael Mann’s work. I actually thought that Public Enemies was horrible, and now I face ultimate disappointment with Heat. I was in no way impressed by what some call the best action film of all time. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a bad movie, but it’s far from a great one, in my opinion. The worst part is that you’ve got Pacino and De Niro, two of the greatest actors ever, and the movie doesn’t even take advantage of their talents. They rarely get any time to shine and you’re left with this cheated feeling as if somebody just stole something very valuable from you. The movie itself is far too long and even though it was (mostly) entertaining, I kinda got tired of it after two hours and was just waiting for it to end. The script was quite good, but it could’ve been much better. The part I hate most about Michael Mann is that he doesn’t know how to shape his characters. I don’t know if I’m alone here, but I just can’t seem to connect with any of the characters in his movies. They feel like stock characters at times. I really thought I was gonna see a good movie, but I just ended up highly disappointed.

Thursday (08.04.2010)

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) - 6/10
I actually enjoyed this flick more than I expected. It didn’t exactly live up to its potential (come on, there a tons of laughs about time travel and that particular situation the characters were stuck in), but it was still a worthwhile flick. The cast was quite good and they seemed to be having some chemistry going around (which is always a good thing), so that’s a plus as well. I didn’t like the ending as much, but the rest of the film was highly entertaining. Add to that a couple of juicy laughs and you’ve got yourself a winner!

How to Train Your Dragon (2010) - 7/10
Animated dragons flying fighting Vikings in 3D? How awesome is that? Especially if the dragons are small, cuddly and resemble my dog… Who cares that it was filled with clichés and some typical feel-good situations? I had so much fun that I didn’t even bother taking the bad parts into consideration. It did have some bad parts, that’s true, but that’s rather unimportant when you’ve got and entertaining and funny movie like this one. Grab your 3D glasses and head to the cinema for some good times!




Friday (09.04.10)

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007) - 9/10
I wasn’t much of a Tim Burton fan, but after seeing this film I got totally hooked. This must be one of the most beautiful movies I have ever seen, and I gotta give credit where credit is due. Masterfully directed, skillfully shot and incredibly well acted, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is a gem. I cannot express how much I love this film and I honestly cannot wait to see it again. This instantly became one of my favourite films ever and I say hail Tim Burton for crafting this masterpiece.




Saturday (10.04.10)

The Burrowers (2009) - 3/10
I wasn’t expecting much from this film, but I didn’t foresee that it would be this bad. It’s not exactly bad in like horrible acting and stuff, but there are some elements that just turn this film into a mess. First of all, I felt that it was very boring. It wasn’t paced in a slow manner (the pacing was fine), it just didn’t have anything interesting to offer. Often times it made me feel dull and I was just waiting for something to happen, and surprisingly even the action scenes were very sluggish and uninspired. I have no idea how I managed to watch it to the end, but I vividly remember that I frantically checked how much time was left every couple of minutes or so. Which is never a good thing.

Saw V (2008) - 4/10
I consider Saw V to be the film that butchered the series. Sure, number 3 and 4 weren’t exactly good either, but at least they had a somewhat decent story going around and a good amount of gore to keep the fans happy. This one pretty much sucked, though. The script was horrible, the kills were feeling old and the acting was simply awful. I don’t really care that these dudes are only after money, but at least show some sense of respect and give the fans something worthwhile for the insane amount of cash they keep feeding you with.

Saw VI (2009) - 6/10
Yes! This is exactly what the franchise needed. It still doesn’t live up to the original, but at least Saw VI provides enough entertainment and gore to keep the fans up and happy. This is quite revival compared to the last few films of the series and I really felt that seemingly long lost feeling of satisfaction that I felt years ago. Sure, the acting was still subpar and the kills weren’t exactly new, but it was surprisingly entertaining and didn’t seem to be as “dumb” (for lack of a better word) as parts 3 and 4. Quite nice, quite nice!



Sunday (11.04.2010)

Timecrimes (2008) - 7/10
I have an unusual fascination with time travel and thus I have to see every movie about time travel out there. I got word of Timecrimes a while ago, but I never got around to watching it until now. Well, now that I’ve seen it I can safely say that it’s one of the best time travelling movie out there and if you can’t stand plotholes, do not worry, because this is pretty much perfectly shaped, and it’ll actually make sense no matter how much you think about it (something which most films centered around time travel lack). It’s quite an unusual flick and it may a little bit simplistic, but it actually uses its simplicity to an advantage. The best thing about Timecrimes is that you don’t have to think very hard to understand it and yet it feels like a very complex film. I call that a success!

“A joke is a very serious thing.” - Winston Churchill

I didn’t get to laugh much in 2009. Sure, there were a lot of laughs in serious movies, but those were usually unintentional, so it doesn’t really count. Let’s face it: 2009 wasn’t the best year in comedy. Except for The Hangover and Zombieland (which wasn’t really a pure comedy to begin with), I can’t even recall any significant comedy flicks.

You may or may not have heard of Funny People. Let me give you a quick introduction: Funny People is Judd Apatow’s new movie. Starring Adam Sandler and Seth Rogen, this comedy/drama deals with the life of famous stand-up comedian George Simmons (played by Sandler) who finds out he is suffering from some sort of leukaemia, which pretty much shortens his life span enough so as to reconsider the life he’s had together with all the regrets he has and the mistakes he’s made.


Seth Rogen plays Ira Wright, an aspiring stand-up comedian who dreams of hitting it big. Soon enough he meets with George Simmons, who hires him to be his own personal assistant, a job which kind of deteriorates into a rather responsible and tiring job as times goes by.

There’s not much to tell about the story, because it doesn’t really follow a straight path – it feels as though a series of random events were just randomly thrown together, which turns to whole thing into an overcomplicated experience. I don’t even know what Funny People tries to be. It’s too dramatic for a comedy and it definitely can’t be taken seriously as a drama, due to the humorous attitude the characters take on. Which takes me to the jokes and the humour: they were far from funny and even the funniest ones didn’t help much due to the depressing atmosphere this movie radiates.


I can’t say much about the acting – it wasn’t very good but I wouldn’t go as far as to call it bad. I, for one, am tired of seeing Seth Rogen and Adam Sandler playing the same characters in every movie. I really like these two and they starred in a few of my favourite comedies, but every joke gets old. I hope that in the future I will be seeing them taking on a few different roles. Leslie Mann offers a nice refreshment as George’s ex-fiancée, but even her fairly good performance drowns together with the rest of the movie.

Funny People isn’t an easy ride: it can get really exhausting with the whole depressing mood and the forced humour. Its running time of over two hours doesn’t help much either, and the movie can get quite boring at times due to its lack of balance. I’m not sure what Judd Apatow was hoping to achieve with this one, but it certainly didn’t work. I’m gonna tell you to avoid watching Funny People, but there are tons of better movies you could be spending your time with.